Christmas Cheer
by Jannyxoxo
Summary: When Jac goes to Mo's for Christmas, Mo begins to find out the horrific past Jac has had and wonders about the stability Jac has and the damage of soon having a baby.
1. Chapter 1

**This came to me when I watching And We Banish Shade the other day.**

**Really need to revise but ideas keep coming to my head!**

**R&R please xx**

It was Christmas Eve. It was cold and Jac was tired. She sat at the nurse station with Mo on the night shift, a ridicules decision as tomorrow she was expected to go to Mo's and spend Christmas there with her family. The thought of it made Jac repulsed and the only reason she was going was so she wouldn't have to make a meal for one and then clean up as well. She really didn't want to go, she found it awkward and humiliating when the questions were asked about why she wasn't spending Christmas with her own family, so of course had to make up a lie.

She thought back to last year when she had spent Christmas Day working, something which confused Jonny as she had offered to do the shift. She thought back to the many times she had been invited to people's homes to spend a meal with them; Sacha and Mo had both made offers last year but she declined both. She thought back to the surprised way Jonny had looked at her when he realised she had never decorated a tree and when she had mentioned they were too poor for books, present and a tree. She thought back to when Jonny had come back to the ward in the evening the time she had given him his secret Santa and when she was shocked to discover that she didn't know his parents weren't around, maybe they weren't so different and maybe he would understand if she told him. But the more she thought about the more she realised it was stupid to think he had been in the same situation she had been in, to think he had gone through the same damage she had, she would have noticed something that gave her a clue, wouldn't she?

Jac was brought out of her thoughts when she realised Mo was talking to her.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Mo asked, still slightly surprised Jac had agreed to coming to her house, where all her family would be, on Christmas Day. She remembered last year when she had offered and Jac had quickly refused something which Mo had found odd. What was so wrong with Christmas to Jac? Why had she never celebrated properly? Was she really that poor or was it a cover up for something else? Mo's mind began to think up different scenarios, all of which seemed very unlikely.

"Maybe it's best if I don't come. I mean I'm not family or anything and I feel as if I'm intruding into something which seems to mean a lot to you all." She had already tried to get out of it once she realised Jonny wasn't going either, and she knew it was hardly the right time to try and make an excuse now, the night before.

"What are you on about? You can't drop out know, there expecting you and are all quite excited to meet you, now they know you're going to have Jonny's baby. And how many times do I have to say; you're not intruding I invited you over. You can hardly manage by yourself anyway, you're 8 months pregnant." She spoke matter-of-factly and knew Jac was just trying to get out of it, she really didn't like Christmas.

"I'm going to be too tired to do much though and I am fully aware of being pregnant thank-you very much." Jac's tone had turned harsh, as she was annoyed and cross that Mo wouldn't let her out of this.

"Jac, what is your problem with Christmas, would you just stop moaning about everything. I'm trying to be nice, and you are just trying to make me sound like the bad one. I don't believe that you don't like Christmas, everyone does. When you think about when you were a kid, waking up and seeing all the presents from Santa, doesn't it make you want to, I don't know, smile or be happy or something." Mo was getting cross as well now, what she had said was true. She was trying to be nice and Jac made it seem like she was the bad one and trying to make Jac feel unwelcome.

Jac looked away from Mo, thinking back to when she was a kid. Christmas had been like any other day when she was small. When she went back to school she would have to make up a lie about what she got as a present, because she was embarrassed to know that she didn't get things like other children. Only when she was older did she realise that it was because Santa wasn't real, and her mother didn't think she deserved to get presents and couldn't be bothered to go out and buy something for her so she could wake up excited like all the other children she knew.

When Jac didn't answer Mo frowned. She reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. The two had become lot closer since Jac had become pregnant as Mo was trying to help out with things and make life easier for Jac, as she had gone through the whole pregnancy thing adn knew what it was like. Jac had also had to trust Mo, when she found out about her endometriosis and also when she discovered her pregnancy, as to not tell Jonny everything, something which had proved great difficulty. Jac had been paranoid that Mo had told Jonny, as the two shared some sort of close relationship that Jac didn't completely understand.

However, even though they were close, Jac didn't appreciate being touched where is wasn't necessary; it bought back things that had happened to a different her, someone she no longer was, someone who's memories still lingered with her although she was no longer her.

"Don't touch me," Jac said sternly and Mo removed her hand from the other woman's shoulder. Jac went back to the earlier remark Mo had made about what her problem with Christmas was. "I just don't like Christmas Mo, is that such a crime, really?"

"Well... no, but still."

"But still, what? I don' like Christmas, I never have nor will I ever. That's it"

"There has to be a reason. Did Santa not come to Jac because she was a naughty girl?" Mo said it in a joking way, but Jac's body froze.

Jac grimaced under what Mo had said. She thought back to when her mum's boyfriend would be round on Christmas, the way he would watch her and then when she didn't get any presents she would be punished for being a naughty little girl.

She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she thought about the many times she had been punished for things. She spoke quietly then left to go to her office, a place where she would spend the last hours of the night shift. "No. Jac didn't get any presents because her mum was a selfish cow."

Mo sat in her chair, now by herself at the nurse station, and thought about the way she had misjudged Jac's character, and the reason why she was the way she was. Jac hadn't realised it, but she had just opened Mo's ideas about her and soon Mo would want to know everything about the person who was Jac Naylor.

**Please review! I am going to carry this one on as I have already started writing other parts to it, unless everyone things it's the worst story every written (wouldn't be surprised if you did) and sorry for any mistakes, I did check but I always miss things**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it's taken so long to update, hopefully this is okay though. As always please R&R xx**

It was the end of their shift and Jac was changing out of her scrubs and into the only clothes that were fitting her at the moment; an oversized hoodie and tracksuit bottoms. Mo walked in just as Jac had finished and she look Jac up and down. "You had better be wearing something nicer than that later."

"Why?" Jac frowned. In all honesty she really couldn't care less about what Mo's family though about her. "It's not that big a deal"

"Jac, it is a big deal to my family. At least try and put on something nice. I know how hard it is to find nice clothes that fit, but there is something's that look alright."

Jac rolled her eyes and picked up her bag, leaving Mo alone in the room without answering her. She went to the lift and waited for it to arrive after pressing the button to call it to Darwin. As it opened, she was glad to see few people were in it, less chance of conversation with some over excited nurse who wouldn't stop going on about tree decorations and tinsel.

She leaned against the side of the lift as it travelled between floors as she was extremely tired from working all night. As she waited for the lift to finally arrive down at reception so she could leave, there were brief conversations, most of which she listened into. They were all people just wishing others a good Christmas , and talking about their plans for the holidays. Of course no-one spoke to her, as they all knew that Jac Naylor didn't do Christmas or families, or really engage in conversation outside of work. When the lift finally arrived at the floor she stepped out and left the building.

She stood in the doorway of the hospital, waiting for her taxi that was to take her home. As usual, they were late. She sensed someone behind her and she turned around, coming face-to-face with Mo.

"What do you want?"

"Why are you waiting out here for? It's freezing, you'll catch a death"

Jac rolled her eyes. "I'm waiting for my taxi to come if you must know."

Mo didn't really understand why Jac needed a taxi to take her home, probably some rule Jonny had put in place to keep her 'safe' as he liked to put it, not that Jac was a bad driver. "I could take you if you wanted."

Jac frowned and looked at Mo, unsure of why she was being so kind. "What's in it for you?"

"What do you mean? Why do I have to get anything out of it?"

"Well..." she trailed off, realising how bad this would sound. Mo watched her, waiting for some response. "What's the point in doing something if you don't get something out of it?"

"You really are unbelievable you know," she answered shaking her head. She got a confused look from Jac and decided to drop it. "Anyway, do you want a lift or not?"

Jac sighed and reluctantly agreed. She walked with Mo in silence to the space where her car was parked. Mo unlocked it and Jac climbed in the passenger side and waiting while Mo got in and started the engine. As soon as the car had been started, Jac turned the heater right up to full and leant back a little in the chair, suddenly feeling very tired.

As soon as they had pulled out of the car park and were driving along the main road, Mo pushed the button which turned the radio on and began to hum along to Christmas tunes which were blaring out the speakers, at what Jac seemed as, full volume. She opened her eyes and reached forward to turn it off, which went un noticed by Mo, who continued to hum for several seconds after.

"Hey, I was listening to that."

"Yes, and I didn't want to"

"You do realise that it is Christmas. And this evening at mine you are going to have to feel some sort of Christmas spirit, and sing along with the rest of us."

"I don't have to do anything, actually."

"Jac, it's Christmas, where is your sense of fun and joy."

"Hibernating."

"Yeah, well it always seems to be hibernating if you ask me"

"Well I didn't."

They were silent the rest of the way to Jac's. No conversation, no radio and no humming. Around 15 minutes later Mo had the car stopped outside Jac's apartment and she was making her way up to her front door. Mo rolled the window down and yelled out.

"Don't forget, be at mine by 3, and if possible try not to make my family disheartened by your lack of spirit."

This caused Jac to flick up her middle finger in the direction of the car, before closing the front door and sighing. After stepping over the cluster of Christmas cards she had left by the front door, she kicked of her shoes and put her bag on one if the hooks in the hallway. She went to her room and, after slipping off her coat, climbed into bed without changing and fell asleep almost instantly, forgetting about the events which would be taking place this evening.

Mo drove the rest of the way home with the radio on full volume and was shouting out Christmas songs, not singing them like any normal festive person was. She pulled up in her drive, just as her favourite song finished and turned off the engine. She walked to her front door, which was unlocked, something which worried her even though her mother had previously told her she would arrive at an early hour to start with the making of Christmas dinner. Mo walked into the kitchen and was relieved when she remembered her mother had told her she would be coming.

"Hey mum"

"Hey, just thought I'd start early with everything. Then you can get a rest if you want, before tonight. That pregnant friends of yours still coming?"

"Yes, Jac is still coming, why?"

"Jac, isn't that a guy's name" she asked frowning." And no reason, just wondering how many we have for definite."

Mo sighed. "Yes mum, it is a guys name, but her name isn't actually Jac, that's just what everyone calls her. Like everyone calls me Mo, but my name is Maureen, see."

Her mum nodded, and Mo walked over to her side and looked over her shoulder at what she was making. She reached over and stuck her finger in the cream that was being whisked. Her mum hit it away and Mo licked the cream off.

"Who many times have I told you not to do that?"

"How many times have I done it?" She grinned and walked off in the direction of the stairs to go to her bedroom. She was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before everyone started to arrive, as she was well aware that tonight she probably wouldn't be able to sleep that well, with relatives in every room ad being drunk out of her mind. That's what Christmas was about when your adult, isn't it?

**I got serious writers block while writing this part, so, again, I am extremely sorry for how long it took to upload this chapter**. I also haven't had much time as I have been with my friend who has just had her baby! Please review, and I was also thinking of a new one-shot between Jac and Rachel (Sacha's daughter), what do you think? Anyway, enough of me rambling on... bye xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Another chapter, hopefully better than the last one. Sorry for mistakes, did proof read, but I'm really tired at the moment... anyway... read and review, please xx**

Jac climbed out of the taxi awkwardly after handing the driver the money and receiving the change. She sarcastically thanked the driver for all his help before slamming the door, which caused the man to press down on the horn for several rather long seconds, which made a rather large scene in the middle of the terrace that Mo lived in. She turned on her heels and walked in the direction of Mo's house, and was surprised to see the door open. Open house, she thought to herself, this is going to be fun.

She got to the door and didn't really know whether to just walk in, or knock and make her presence known. She hovered in the doorway for several moments, before deciding to just walk in. Not really knowing where she was she ending up walking down a long hallway, of which towards the end were voices, a few of which she recognised vaguely, and two of which she was certain she knew the people they belonged to; Mo and Sacha.

When she got to the door at the end she put a smile on her face and walked into the room, being noticed by Mo immediately, who smiled at her.

"Hey, Jac. Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, thanks. Merry Christmas... to everyone." She felt awkward, the eyes of almost everyone in the room on her and some shocked expressions from some familiar faces from work. They were all clearly shocked that Jac was taking part in a social event that she wasn't forced into by someone. Little did they know, Jonny had pretty much forced her into coming.

Mo took the silence as an opportunity to introduce everyone to Jac. "Right," she started. "This is my mum, and my dad." She indicated to the two oldest people in the room; however they were stood furthest apart. "And my sister's and brother, and their partners. And obviously you know everyone else from work. The people in the garden and front room are our neighbours and friends." She then took a position next to Jac and spoke again. "Everyone this is Jac."They all smiled at her, apart from the nurse's who were scared of her completely, and shook hands.

There was a call from a room through the door way, telling them all that A Christmas Carol had started and that they were going to miss the beginning if they didn't get in here soon. Th jumble of people left the room and Jac was left with Sacha and Mo's mum.

"I bought some champagne, I didn't really know what to bring or how many people would be here, or anything so sorry about size and all. Do you want a hand with anything?" Jac spoke fast, still uncertain of how she was supposed to act around everyone on Christmas. Sacha placed his hands on her shoulders and whispered to calm down. He took the champagne and placed it on the side.

"Oh, love, its fine. You go and sit in there and watch the film with the others. And thanks for this." She smiled and indicated to the champagne, and Jac nodded and turned to the other room with Sacha in tow. The room was full of people who were sat all over the place. There obviously had been a misjudgement of how many people were actually going to turn up, as, despite the jumble of garden chairs, stools and other seating arrangements, there were still many people standing at the edges of the room and sat on the floor.

Someone, who Jac didn't recognise from work, looked up and smiled. She indicated for Jac to come over and take the seat she was sat in, clearly noticing how tired Jac was. She walked over to the other side room, walking round people that were on the floor and in front of many people who were sat towards the back, which gained her a few moans as the film had just started. When Jac got to the seat, the woman had already moved and Jac sat down. She nodded in thanks, not wanting to disturb the film anymore than she had, even though the chair wasn't that comfortable.

Jac looked around the room, at the people, the presents, the tree and the laughter of everyone. They all seemed so happy, and she didn't really see the big deal. Her eyes meet with Sacha's who frowned at her, a sign of him questioning if she was okay. She smiled sadly and nodded.

Sacha knew how hard it had been for Jac to have even agreed to come here, let alone actually come and sit here with everyone. He didn't know much about Jac's past, as it was always clear she didn't like to talk about it, and he wasn't one to make someone feel uncomfortable about talking about something, especially Jac. What he did know, however was that she didn't like family Christmases and that she didn't feel like she belonged. He knew what she meant now.

He was here, away from his family, celebrating Christmas at his friends house with her family, instead of being with his son, his soon to be ex-wife, and his daughters, who were spending Christmas, yet again with their mother and her partner. He didn't feel like he really belonged in the scene here, he felt like he stuck out from everyone else, who all knew each other and who all cared about each. Most of the people here he didn't even know, and he couldn't imagine what it must be like for Jac, having to ignore Christmas every year, just because she had no family. He was glad she was with Jonny, they would be able to spend Christmas together as a family, instead of them both working or sitting alone watching a movie and having a drink.

He looked back over to Jac, and saw her, what everyone else would take as watching the film, staring at the TV screen, not taking anything from the film in, but rather stuck in her own daydream. He shifted his gaze when she turned to look at him, as she was able to feel his eyes watching her.

"Dinner should be ready in about a half hour," everyone heard a voice call from the kitchen, to which belonged to Mo's mother. Along with a few mutters of okay, in response she got a lot of shushing and a "Mum, would you shut-up, we're trying to watch a film in here" from Mo, which made everyone smile, even Jac slightly. She would've loved to have a relationship with her mother like that, without getting yelled at by her mother, or getting smacked for being cheeky. She would also have loved to be able to spend Christmas with her parents, who would still be together. They would have a tree in the corner of the room that they all helped decorate together, and her dad would have lifted her up to place the star on the top. There would be presents clustered round the bottom of the tree in brightly coloured wrapping and ribbons tied around them. She imagined Christmas music playing quietly in the background as they all engaged in a loud, happy conversation about what they would be doing next week and talking about arranging for Jac to go up and spend a few days with her grandparents to show off all her new toys she had been given. That had been her Christmas wish all through her childhood, even when she was grown up enough to know that it wouldn't happen, she had still wished, even know she still wished she would get her mother back

She felt the tears well up in her eyes, and blinked them back. She needed to get out of here, stop thinking about Christmas, stop thinking about family, and stop thinking about her mother. That was her weakness and she didn't want anyone else to know.

She looked back to the film, she wasn't really following what was happening, but it was something to take her mind of everything. The film was confusing her, and the thoughts of family Christmases still wouldn't leave her head, so she ended up looking around the room again.

From where she was sat, Jac could see almost everyone in the room. She looked form face to face, watched how everyone acted, and all the conversations that were held in muttered voices towards the back. Everyone seemed happy, like everyone should be at Christmas, she thought to herself. She hadn't even been here an hour and she already felt like she didn't belong, and no matter how hard they tried today, she wouldn't belong. No-one was like her here, they all knew how they were supposed to act, they all knew what family really meant, and they all had one. She stood up, and left the room, feeling slightly dizzy, not unnoticed by Mo and Sacha.

**I know this chapter is really boring, but in the next one we should have some more Jac's past come up, as well as some Jacamo and Jacha, yay! Please review, as it makes me write better and update faster. Thanks for reading xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hopefully, in answer to LucyJasper, the baby should be coming in the next few chapters, unless I get a new idea of something else to add before then, which is quite unlikely, or if anyone else thinks I shouldn't bring the baby in just yet. Sorry for how bad this is, I feel the need to apologise every time for some reason, sorry about that. Proof reading is terrible by the way.**

Jac walked down the corridor, eventually finding somewhere where she assumed she wouldn't be disturbed; a cupboard underneath the stairs. She sat on the floor, drew up her knees as close to her chest as possible with her bump, and put her chin on her arms that were crossed over them. And she left the tears roll freely down her face, not knowing why she was letting her feelings out all of a sudden, so blamed it on her hormones.

She thought about her mother, how she had failed at being someone to protect her, support her and love her. Instead she was the one who hurt her, along with her partner, she was the one who had made her feel bad about herself, even when she got high results, even the best in her class, her mother told her it wasn't good enough, and she was the one who ignored her for days, didn't come home after work some days, so Jac would have to look after herself. Of course the teachers never caught on anything was wrong, why would they, they don't care about what happens outside the four walls of their classroom. Only when she was 12, and her mother didn't come back, did the teachers realise something was wrong. After about a week of school, things were getting harder for Jac, she didn't have money to buy anything and teachers started to realise something was going wrong. She was questioned, but she didn't mind about being alone, it was much better than being with her mum and partner, however they figured it out she was put in care, much to her dismay.

But now, she was partly thankful for her mother treating her like that, even after everything she went through as such a young age. She realised that she would be a great mother, because she wouldn't be able to put someone through that. She gone through that, she had been there and knew what it was like. It seemed ridiculous for your own mother to be able to do something like that, and she knew she would never be able to. She placed her hands on her bump and smiled slightly, although the tears were still running thick down her face. But maybe she couldn't.

Her thoughts were interrupted when all of a sudden she heard voices outside and people walking past. She muted her cries and hoped they would walk past without realising anyone was in here. When she thought they were gone she let out a sigh, not realising she had been holding her breath as well. She heard the thump of someone walking up the stairs that were above her, and guessed that they were looking for her, when you didn't want to be missed you were, and when you wanted to be missed, you weren't.

She sat for several moments, in peace, thinking about her child, their child, her and Jonny's child, before she was interrupted by her phone ringing. It made her jump, and she couldn't get it out of her pocket, until it had rang about 4 times. Once she had managed to get hold of it, she looked at the screen and sighed. It was Sacha. She knew that he had rang her, and was probably stood outside the door, to have some conformation that she was the one hiding in the cupboard.

She looked to the door after rejecting the call, waiting for it to open, and sure enough, the door handle moved and the door creaked open a bit, well more than a bit, enough for Sacha to get through. He closed the door quietly, and she was grateful that he hadn't made a scene and that it was only him who was here, she guessed Mo was the one who was upstairs looking for her.

She looked up at Sacha and he smiled at her, she tried to smile back, but it faded and she just let her face fall, not bothering to put a front up in front of someone who knew her so well and would be able to see through it anyway.

Sacha squished into the small space next to Jac. Seeing as the cupboard was so small they both felt slightly squished, but neither really minded, they were close, and nothing would happen, they were best mates.

"So, what's up?" Sacha asked. He knew something was up, and he really wanted to help, he hated seeing her like this.

Jac shrugged. Sacha waited for an answer, knowing it would take several moments for Jac to get out what she wanted to say. "All of this family stuff... I can't do it... what if I can't look after our baby... and all these Christmassy stuff... it freaks me out."

Sacha sighed. "I already told you. You're going to be a great a mum, there's nothing to worry about. You shouldn't worry about this sort of Christmas either; yours don't have to be like this. It can be just you the baby and Jonny." He placed his hand on her bump; he was one of the few that didn't count in the 'no-one is to touch this bump' rule.

He looked to her face and saw the tears that were welling up. He knew she had already been crying from the smudges of mascara that were around her eyes, and pulled her into one of his bear hugs, which was quite difficult in the small space and seeing as she was pregnant.

"You do know that Jonny really does love you and he is going to help. He won't just leave, and you have loads of people who will help if you ever need it. Jac, why are you so worried about this?"

She rested her head on his chest and took a big sigh. "My mum," she mumbled into his jacket, so was barely understood by Sacha.

"You are nothing like her, and you know that. I know you're worried that you won't love this little one, but you have loved him or her, since the moment you found out you were pregnant, which is so much more than your own mum has ever done. You know what it's like and you won't let that happen to someone else, you won't let another person be put into the system and you won't let someone else feel like they don't matter."

"No-one else agrees with you." She knew it was a lame excuse, but it was still true. So many people didn't believe she could do this, she had heard the whispers around the hospital and had tried to ignore them, but she couldn't.

"No-one else knows you as well as I do though. No-one else knows even half of what you have been through, and no-one else knows the real Jac Naylor. That under that ice exterior is a woman who is afraid and scared and worried. I know that, and I know you will be fine."

He looked over at Jac, who had regained her previous position of having her knees drawn up to her chest as best possible. She was looking at him, making sure that he was genuine, and wasn't just saying all this to make her feel better. She smiled a bit and nodded. He was right, and she knew it. She had known it, just needed someone else to prove it was true.

"How about we go back out there and we finish today, get it over with. It will put your mind at rest that you can do Christmases like any other person."

"I don't think I can though. Christmas is just embarrassing for me, and I never feel welcome, no matter how hard they try. I really wish I wasn't here Sacha, Christmas is just full of things I would rather forget."

"I don't want to be here either, but we can't stay in here for the rest of the day can we," he replied, which gained an annoyed look from Jac.

"Fine, but only because it's you."

Sacha stood up, and awkwardly helped Jac up. They stood in the small space while Sacha tried to locate the door handle in the jumble of things that were in the cupboard. He had just found it when the door opened, and Mo's mother appeared, almost hitting Sacha in the head with the door in the process. She looked shocked, to say one thing.

"What are you doing in th cupboard? Jac are you alright? You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine, thanks," Jac said smiling, just before Mo appeared behind her mum.

"Jac, can I have a word. And Sacha, lunch is ready in the kitchen if you want to help yourself," Mo said, indicating for Sacha and her mum to leave.

That just left her and Jac.

**This was really hard to write for some reason, I knew where I wanted to go with it, I just couldn't seem to get there. And it changed a lot while I was writing it. Sorry for terrible writing skills, please review if you wish, thanks for reading xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**I really don't know how to get to where I want to be with this fic, so I am really sorry if this is all pointless rubbish, please tell me if it is though. I am really tired so expect mistakes... please review :) xx**

Mo looked down the corridor, making sure there was no-one around that could hear their conversation.

"What are you doing Jac?" Mo exclaimed, clearly unimpressed with the fact that she and Sacha had just been found by her mother leaving the closet.

"Wishing that I wasn't here for one thing" answered Jac.

"You know what I mean. Why were you and Sacha in there," she said indicating to the now closed door that revealed the small cupboard.

"We were just talking."

"Well why were you in there though? You could have just spoken out here." Jac didn't answer then and Mo looked at her, trying to tell what she was thinking. "Were you hiding?"

"No, I wasn't hiding... would you just leave it," Jac answered and turned to walk off.

Mo put her hand out to stop her, wanting to understand more. "No, why were you in there... Jac?"

"It's nothing please Mo, just drop it." She was pleading this time, unlike last where she was much more forceful. "I'm going to go, say thanks to your mum for me."

"You can't go Jac, you promised Jonny you would stay."

Jac sighed, she knew somewhere along the line that if she wanted to leave Mo would use the promise she had made to Jonny against her. He only wanted her to come so that she was around people so if anything happened to happen to her, well actually he was just worried about the baby, then she wouldn't be stuck at home alone. This is why you shouldn't make promises, she thought to herself.

"But I can't stay," Jac muttered.

"Why not? What is it about Christmas that is so bad for you?"

Jac shrugged, not wanting to speak because she would probably end up telling Mo everything. Things that she had tried to hide for so long from everyone. Things that no-one knew about her. And things that no-one would believe had really happened.

"Christmas is about family, and being happy about the things you have, not for sulking around in the father or your child's best mate's cupboard under the stairs."

Jac looked up to her, tears shinning in her eyes. "And if you have nothing?"

Mo didn't answer then. She looked at Jac, watched her closely as she turned to walk away. Instead of the strong confident woman everyone saw at a quick glance she saw a small lost girl with no hope. Mo the decided that she would have to find out about Jac, because like everyone else she had judged her before she knew everything, however unlike most she was now determined to find out more about the woman and try to make her feel better, if only slightly so.

Mo watched Jac walk off, before speaking. Just as Jac was about to turn into the living room, Mo spoke, "You have Jonny... and Sacha and me."

Jac didn't even glance over her shoulder when she retorted "It's not the same though is it."

Mo groaned, this was going to be a long day if Jac was going to act like this all the way through it. She stood in the hallway for several moments, wanting to gather her thoughts as to what she was going to do about the Jac situation. Although Jac herself didn't really believe that there was a situation for Mo to get involved with, Mo could tell that Jac wanted, and needed, to speak to someone about what was going on, and she was sure that today that someone would be her, whether Jac liked it or not.

Mo then also went into the living room where now most people were sitting with dinner on trays, waiting for the last few people to come in so that they could resume playing the film. She glanced around to see if she could find Jac. She located her on the other side of the room, bunched up in the small sofa along with three other people, one of them Sacha, the other two were the neighbours. She noticed that Jac didn't have a plate of food, although Sacha did seem to have enough on his plate for both of them.

She walked through to the kitchen where her mum had laid out food for everyone to help themselves, so, taking a plate she helped herself to the food that she wanted. Taking her now full plate she walked back into the living the room where the film had been resumed and took her place on the opposite side if the room to Sacha and Jac, so she was able to keep an eye on Jac while she ate.

While watching Jac, and eating of course, Mo was confused by many of the actions that she showed. It was as if Jac was having a mental argument with herself. Every now and again she would pause, and not move for several moments as if contemplating what they 'other side' of her was saying. She would then, again carry on as if nothing had happened.

She looked around the room, to see if anyone else showed any signs of seeing Jac's strange behaviour, but they all seemed entirely absorbed in the film. She looked back at Jac who was now watching her, and Mo frowned at her, asking a question with her expression instead of saying something. Then Jac looked away.

Mo had never realised it before now, but Jac was very childlike, as if she was still living there, or as if she hadn't had enough time being a child so she was making up for it now. Although the woman was an extremely clever cardiothoracic consultant, many of the things she obtained and many of the things which she did were something you would expect in a child. For example, the way she ate bourbons. Instead of eating it like a normal biscuit, she would eat it in the manner Mo remembered doing when she was young; first removing the top biscuit layer, then scrapping the chocolate cream filling off, then proceeding to eat the bottom piece of biscuit. However, it was as if Jac done it automatically, not realising she possessed such features of a child, something which confused Mo evermore.

Mo had now confused herself evermore in trying to uncover whatever it was that Jac wished to hide, so instead of trying to think of it anymore, she turned to the TV screen, hoping to just watch the end of the film and forget about it for a while, however, unluckily for her the film had now finished and Mo glanced at the small watch she was wearing around her wrist. She had only just realised how long she had been analysing Jac for. It seemed as if her mind wanted her to find out about Jac, as if her mind new that there was something important that Jac was hiding, and as if her mind was telling her she needed to help Jac get over whatever it was, because, unknown to Mo, she was the only person willing to help her and try to find out what she was hiding.

She glanced back up at Jac, and was surprised to see that she was now acting as if everything was fine, chatting away to Sacha as if she hadn't just had an argument with herself in her head. She caught Jac's eye and nodded towards the door, indicating that she wanted to talk to Jac outside. She saw Jac tell Sacha something and she stood up, as did Mo. Where she was going to start with trying to work out Jac she had no idea.

**Is anyone reading this? Because I think it's really bad... I'm sorry guys to anyone who is reading this because everyone is out of character and some of this makes no sense what so ever. It's late and I'm tired, so sorry for mistakes. I'm not at home and took mum ages to bring the laptop in, so I would have updated sooner, but couldn't. Please review :)xx **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry haven't uploaded, in like ages :/ And thank-you all for the lovely reviews for my last chapter, they all made me smile :) Read and review xx**

_She caught Jac's eye and nodded towards the door, indicating that she wanted to talk to Jac outside. She saw Jac tell Sacha something and she stood up, as did Mo. Where she was going to start with trying to work out Jac she had no idea._

"What do you want Mo?"

"I want to know what's wrong with you. You go from being a scared, venerable person hiding in a cupboard, to this person who pretends they hate everyone and everything." Mo knew it was unusual for someone to say something like that to Jac, so had no idea how she was going to react.

Jac didn't say anything for a long time, knowing her reaction would show a lot to Mo. "I... It's complicated... You wouldn't understand."

Mo's fore head creased in confusion, she never saw Jac as someone who found it hard to speak, or hard to find the right words, but she seemed just as confused as herself did. "Try me." Mo was unsure about where this conversation was going, but she needed Jac to trust her, it seemed to her as if, whatever Jac was hiding from everyone, was eating away at her, bit by bit.

Jac shook her head, unable to speak, her emotions where messed us and she couldn't let tears flow in such a public place, or with Mo.

"Why can't you trust me, I didn't say anything to Jonny when I found out you were pregnant, or about your endometriosis... Jac?"

While Mo was speaking, she saw Jac's face crumble. Mo didn't really know how to react, sure that if she comforted Jac, she would be yelled at, but if she didn't she had no idea what Jac would end up doing. The tears, by now, were running down Jac's face and she was struggling to wipe them away.

Mo decided to lead Jac somewhere more private, knowing that Jac would not won't a crowd of people trying to comfort her. She automatically followed Mo outside to the end of the garden where there was a small bench that they could sit on.

Once they were sat, Mo was still unsure on whether to comfort Jac. She was worried that something was wrong, and whatever Jac was hiding it was worse than Mo thought. Mo sighed and looked at Jac, deciding to take a risk. She shuffled along the bench closer to the woman, and wrapped her arms around her and her bump, which made it slightly more awkward to hug her.

While Mo was struggling to hug Jac, she felt her move and turn towards her, so looked up. Jac's face looked extremely puzzled, and also managed to hold a glare at the same time, making Mo quickly remove her arms from her.

"Sorry," Mo mumbled, now embarrassed. "I just thought, you know..."

Mo was cut off by Jac who thanked her, "For bringing me out here, away from everyone."

Mo nodded, not expecting to have got a thanks from Jac of all people. Jac stood up, and a hand rushed to her bump quickly as she felt a twinge.

"Jac?" Mo asked, worriedly.

The twinge left as suddenly as it had arrived. "I'm fine, it was nothing."

"Jac, that wasn't fine. Jonny would kill me if something happened to you, you know that."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Jac replied sternly

"But you weren't fine, you were quite clearly worried about something."

"Mo I said I'm fine, would you just leave it," Jac yelled and walked off in the direction of the house.

Mo sighed; she finally thought she was getting somewhere, when Jac had put all her barriers up again. _She's probably just worried about me seeing her cry, and trying to make me believe she's still that hard ice queen, not some sobbing pregnant woman_ Mo thought with a smile.

She followed Jac back to the house, and walked through to the lounge where she saw Jac sat back down with Sacha, who had one arm around her shoulders. Mo frowned, the two seemed really close, and it confused her at how Sacha could stand the woman for long, or why Jac ever let him in, seeing as Jac didn't seem fazed by the fact that everyone knew they were close. Then again, her and Jonny were friends, which could be seen as rather strange, but they had a history together, and a connection that meant they just worked as best mates. They were able to joke about with each other, and they knew everything about the other, and Mo doubted that Sacha knew everything about Jac.

From the doorway, where she was stood watching the film, Mo saw Sacha get up and make his way to the kitchen out of the corner of her eye. She left from where she stood, and walked along the corridor to the kitchen, where Sacha was all alone, pouring himself another drink, and getting Jac a glass of water.

He smiled at her, when she walked through the door, and raised an eyebrow when she didn't say anything.

"I was just wondering how you and Jac become friends. I mean she doesn't really seem the friend type."

"We have known each other for a long time, and she seemed as if she needed someone, and I was willing to..." he paused, finding the right words. "Be that person," he finished.

"So your saying Jac didn't have anyone before you, that she was-"

Mo was interrupted by Jac, who had taken a place standing in the doorway, watching the conversation fold out. "Trying to find out about me behind my back are you Mo? Trying to find out if I'm hiding something?"

Mo turned around and tried to think of an excuse that would seem acceptable and would actually give Mo a reason to be talking to Sacha about Jac. She couldn't think of anything to say, so instead she just shrugged.

"I just wish everyone would stop trying to find stuff out about me behind my back. If you go behind my back, then it's obvious I don't want you to know, which means, either, that I don't like you and don't want you to know, or because you will make me talk about everything that ever happened to me," Jac exclaimed angrily.

Sacha made his way towards Jac, "Jac, she wasn't trying to find out anything, she just was wondering why we were friends."

"We're friends because Sacha is great, he doesn't push things when I ask him not too and -" Jac was cut short when she felt another twinge, only this time it was much more painful and lasted longer.

"Jac? What is it?"

"I think it's the baby" Jac managed to stutter out.

**I really struggled with writing this, but it got easier towards the end, hopefully it's alright though? Please review :) xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know it's been so long since I last updated, and I'm sorry, but hopefully this is alright :/ And I kinda forgot if I said where Jonny was, so he's at work... Anyway, please review :) xx**

"_We're friends because Sacha is great, he doesn't push things when I ask him not too and -" Jac was cut short when she felt another twinge, only this time it was much more painful and lasted longer._

"_Jac? What is it?"_

"_I think it's the baby" Jac managed to stutter out._

"What do you mean, the baby?" Sacha asked, hoping that what he thought she meant wasn't actually what she meant.

Mo and Jac both looked at him as if he had said something completely stupid, which of course, in their opinion was very true.

"Oh, I don't Sacha, but I think Jac means that the baby is doing karaoke," Mo said.

"Okay, sorry, but I was just a bit shocked, you know, it's a bit early don't you think," he answered.

This time it was just Mo who gave him a look as if he had just said something even stupider, however Jac was now worried that something was wrong.

"It is a bit early isn't it, do you think something's wrong?" she asked the other two, every piece of medical information leaving her in the moment of panic.

"Nothing's wrong, Sacha is just being an idiot," Mo reassuringly told her while hitting Sacha's arm with the back of her hand.

"Ouch," Sacha joked.

"When you've quite finished," Jac said.

Both Sacha and Mo turned slightly red, before turning there attention back to Jac, who, it seemed, was back to normal and was no longer experiencing any pain.

"Sorry, do you want a lift to the hospital?" Mo asked.

"No, I want a lift home, I'm not going into the hospital yet," Jac answered.

"Fine, but at least let me ring Jonny."

"Okay, rather you then me."

Mo knew what she meant, and realised she had made a mistake on offering to ring Jonny for her, seeing as he would end up freaking out down the phone to her. She knew how bad he was when she went into labour, so she couldn't imagine what he would be like when he found out about Jac.

"Sacha you coming?" Mo heard Jac ask while she waited for the Jonny to pick up his mobile. She then heard Sacha agree, just as Jonny picked up the phone.

"_Mo, Merry Christmas, how's Jac?"_

Mo smiled, as he instantly asked about Jac and how she was, something which proved to her even more that he was completely in love with her.

"Hey, Merry Christmas to you too. Actually, Jac was what I wanted to tell you about."

"_What, is she alright? Mo you had better not be joking."_

"She's fine, but she possible thinks that it might be time."

"_What? But that's almost a whole month early! Mo, you had better not be joking."_

"I know, and no I'm not joking, you can speak to her if you want."

"_Yeah, can you put her on actually, I would believe it more if it came from her, because, no offence, Jac's not one for joking around."_

"I don't take offence from that, although she might. Right, yeah that's fine I'll just put her on."

"_Thanks."_

Mo took the phone away from her ear as she went to speak to Jac.

"He doesn't believe me, so he wanted to hear it from you instead."

Jac laughed at this and took the phone that Mo held out to her and put it to her ear.

"Jonny, it's Jac."

"_Jac, are you alright, please tell me Mo's joking."_

"No, Mo's not joking."

"_So, you're coming to the hospital then?"_

"No, I'm going to get Mo to drop me home."

"_What? Why aren't you coming to the hospital?"_

"Because they won't let me stay yet, you know how it was with Mo remember."

"_Fine. But I'll see if I can get off early and come to yours, alright."_

"Fine, whatever Jonny, but if you freak out-"

"_Yes, I know, we've already been though this, right I'm going to have to go, see you in a bit." _And he hung up

"Yeah, bye Jonny," Jac answered down the phone.

"So he believes you then?" Sacha asked.

"Yeah, and he's going to try and get off early so he can come round to mine."

"Aww," Mo said quietly, although Jac heard her, and glared at her. Mo just smiled.

"I'm going to go and tell mum that we're leaving. You guys can go and get in the car," she said while handing the car keys over to Jac.

"Alright, see you in a minute, please don't be too long," Jac answered, already walking to the door with Sacha in tow. She heard Mo answer, but couldn't really hear what she said over the amount of noise coming from the lounge, seeing as they had to walk through the doorway.

She looked in and smiled slightly at the sight she saw. Everyone was now sat around on the floor, while giving out presents to their family. People were smiling and laughing and there were small jokes going on between people, while music played in the background. The lights on the tree were on and it gave the room a homely feeling and a welcoming sense to anyone that would walk in right now.

That is everyone apart from Jac, who felt, again, like an onlooker to a great family Christmas, as if she wasn't part of what was going, but was in fact just standing by the side lines watching as events unfolded, and as if she didn't deserve to be part of something so great.

For a moment she forgot what was happening and what she had, and all she really wanted at that point was to be part of something like that, be part of a family who were happy at Christmas and all she wanted was to be happy with her own little family.

She placed her hand on her bump, and felt a smile creep up to her lips. Soon that was going to be possible, soon she would be sat around a tree with her little one, and her Jonny. She felt her baby kick, as if they knew Jac needed some reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

She looked back around, and found Sacha watching her, along with Mo, who, it seemed, had already told her mum that they were going and expected them to be in the car. She walked towards the front door, which was now closed as opposed to open like when she had first arrived, and felt them watching her from behind with every step she took towards the car.

Once she got there, she unlocked it and handed Mo the keys, which she was unsure of why she had anyway, and got in the back, not wanting to be sat with Mo asking questions all the way to her house.

Sacha and Mo got in the front, Mo started the car without a word, and an awkward silence fell over them.

**Hopefully this is alright :/ Not really sure if some of it makes sense, but still... Okay so Holby tonight and prenatal classes are just going to be perf. Please review :) xx**


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